Personal Hell
by FlyingNymphLady
Summary: One night Mickey receives a devastating phone call and his life suddenly spirals into an eternal nightmare from which he may never recover. Future AU.


A/N: This story actually came to me while I was listening to a song on Pandora and I just started typing away (: And I know that the military usually makes personal house calls when someone goes MIA but I made it very mechanical for the story line.

Disclaimer: I do not own Shameless or any of its characters.

Summary: One night Mickey receives a devastating phone call and his life suddenly spirals into an eternal nightmare from which he may never recover. Future AU.

**Special thanks to RecklessAbandon777 for betaing this story.**

_Personal Hell by FlyingNymphLady_

"Hello, is Mr. Milkovich home?" That was the first thing the voice on the other line said, Mickey swallowed and nodded, then realizing the person couldn't see him he produced a vaguely audible, "Yes,". The voice seemed satisfied with the response and continued its task, "We are deeply grieved to inform you that his cousin, Ian Gallagher, has been lost at sea. Our best teams have been put in place and are out looking for them. However resources are scarce at this time. We will contact you when further news can be obtained."

The crackle of the line signaled that the voice had ended the call but Mickey didn't have the sense to put down the phone. The handle remained gripped in his fist as if he were waiting for the voice to call back, to tell him it was all a big joke. To tell him Ian Gallagher wasn't really missing- to tell him that his 'cousin' wasn't really presumed dead; that being the only reason why he was receiving a call from the one person he'd hoped would never call.

However, the line didn't pick up again, it just continued to crackle in the growing dim of nightfall. After quite some time, Mickey placed the phone back on the holder and let his hand rest back down on the sofa's armrest like it had been hours ago. The creaks and the moans of the old house filled the living room but Mickey didn't hear them, he kept staring at the phone waiting for a soft ring to come.

-Shameless-

The TV flicked back and forth between proper and distorted pixels. The storm outside was wreaking havoc on the power lines and it was Mandy's firm belief that they were going to cut-out at any time. Mickey offered her no response though, he only stared blankly at the phone, still steadfast in his belief that the moment he'd witnessed almost a week prior was nothing more than a dream he needed to escape from. Mandy for her part was patient with her older brother, coddling almost every aspect of his waking hours from sun up till sundown. It seemed the only action Mickey could manage without instructions were the hollow breaths his exerted every so often. Mandy found them both a comforting and dismissive noise. On the one hand she could at least keep track of her brother's vital signs but on the other hand it was despairingly sad to see him in this state. Mickey had always been her hero as a child and even after his big coming out he'd still remained as blood thirsty and cold as ever. In a normal setting Mandy would never have dreamed of admitting she looked up to her brother, much less admired him but this setting certainly was different, those events had made them different. If it wasn't for that blasted phone call Mickey could still go about his daily routine, working out, punching people he didn't like, playing video games, but that phone call had changed everything; just like the day Ian Gallagher decided to come into Mickey's cold exterior and start redecorating everything to his own personally fancy…

-Shameless-

Mickey lay on his bed, his face buried into Ian's pillow, desperate for his scent, his feel– anything short of the actual man himself. Mickey breathed in once and then out like the ticking's of a clock. There was no emotion connected to the breaths expect the simple need for the air they provided. Even a simple motion like this was crushing to the Milkovich's heart and his deep breathes were really just for Ian's scent, for Ian himself- not for Mickey.

The Milkovich lay there for what seemed like a small eternity contemplating this nightmare he'd found himself trapped within. It wasn't fair, it just wasn't. Mickey had never had anything in his life he could call his own, no person that connected with him alone; no one but Ian. Everyone else had belonged to other people before him. His father belonged to his mother and vice versa, his brothers and sister to each other. Mickey supposed he could have belonged with his siblings if he'd wanted too but his secret had kept him from getting too close. Even after he'd finally come out, the years of separation kept a tight hold on Mickey despite his sister's loving acceptance. After so long he couldn't stand the thought of letting people in further than he already had. No one except Ian, the one who had managed to slip in under the radar and bring his life to a complete stop.

"…Ian, please, come back…I.. I need you…"

-Shameless-

The next day the balding weatherman's report was interrupted by a breaking newsfeed. The crackling screen showed three battered Navy men being hauled out of EMT helicopters and transferred into awaiting ambulances on the shoreline. The latest reporter stood in front of one of the vehicles for a background and vividly recapped how a Naval cruiser had been attacked off by a renegade post off of the Caribbean and how many of the officers aboard had been declared missing as of two Sundays ago. The woman then proceeded to vocalize the end of Mickey Milkovich's nightmare as she read off the list of names of the men that had been found. Ian Gallagher. The name rung through his ears like the sound of church bells on a summer day. Ian was alive, he was alive and so was Mickey again. He sprung from the couch like a well wound jack-in-the-box and flung himself at his sister with delight. She was startled and a bit confused at first, but he was quick to inform her and she joined in his enthusiasm. They spent the rest of the day celebrating the return of their friend and in Mickey's case, lover. That evening the phone rang for Mickey again but this time he had no fear in what it would say and when it was brought to his ear the voice on the other line had nothing more to say than to confirm an end to the Milkovich's nightmare. It was almost a week before the pair were reunited, but Mickey felt as if the relief he harbored had let the days flow by until he was allowed to barge into the recovery ward and lay eyes on his beloved Gallagher.

-End-


End file.
